I have had writer’s block for awhile, then contemplated writing a couple of different posts; bouncing from one idea to another, picturing if it will flow with the rest of my blog so far or not, and if you all would enjoy it or not. Well, I have finally decided to just jump into it and see what comes.
My blog never really had any “flow” to it since I started it and for that.. I am
haha anyways.. ’tis the season to be Jolly and for family members to conduct their annual interrigation at family Holiday meals (questioning if I’m no longer the “youngest cat lady”-according to my cousins/still single). And the answer is Yes! Still am and I couldn’t be happier/filled with much love and joy in my life.
This has came from months of imprisioning myself in my own mind, body, and heart-hanging onto some toxic friendships and other certain people who quite literally treated me like nothing, I had a break through (which started the week of my birthday).
I finally put my foot down to some people and things that made my body, mind, spirit, and soul jealous, lonely, and toxic (yay, I am 2 months sober!).
I have re-trained my mind to understand I am not perfect, nor will say or do everything perfectly, and have realized I shouldn’t waste the time to try to be.
I stopped giving half of my self and my whole heart to guys who couldn’t take an hour out of any given week to have a nice dinner (I made) for them.
I have put my trust in him, and do not lean on my own understanding (Proverbs 3:5-6).
Now, I feel so free (again). (Matthew 5:16/1 Corinthians 16:14)
Every day I am reminded/remind myself I am deeply loved.. Psalm 139:14.
Everyday is a new day to be thankful and eager to learn, listen, laugh, love, live, feel, and chill; it is a miracle come true!
I use to be all over the place and desperate to cling onto any guy who I slightly found attractive- being super clingly and super emotional and just super everything. Now, not at all. When I go out with friends I am a little bit more calm, but always prepared to scream at the top of my lungs out of the window to a song to embarrass them and slip in a few appropriate puns. And when it comes to the guys- I’m just as my sarcastic-self as ever and ready for any early Christmas presents as applications for a life partner (*cough* an aussiedoodle *cough*) haha joking.
I will always be the emotional, kind-hearted, loving, funny, and a tad crazy Jozey you all know.. but just chiller. You can too! I love you!