Tonight I conclude my spring break for the thrid time in my college career,
being slightly more eventful than the last, but not meerly as much as all my fellow friends who decided to document their shenanigans on snap chat.
I went home to visit my parents in PA, where I was going to go on several hikes and explore a graffiti highway.. but the snow told my body otherwise. I slept about the same amount of hours I did in total of the previous weeek, if not more in 3 nights/4 days. Much needed rest, relaxation, consumption of nearly 2 lbs of bacon, time with the parentals and my baby york.
Then upon arrival back in my sunshine state, I hoped in my first uber by myself back to my apartment. I ate a sandwhich and changed quick to head to work. Ever since then I have been working, eating, sleeping, repeating. It has been kinda lonely, not going to lie. But I’ve realized how much of an option I am to my “friends”, and even some of my “best friends” so I’m letting them be.
Everybody contradicts themselves when giving me guidance and advice, it confuses me and burns out my emotions. It really doesn’t help at the end of the day so I’m going to be spending less time asking and more time doing, without the validation and input from others (as much as I can).
Other issue I have always had with “friends”, “best friends”, and even some family is their conditional presence. Now I am being strong to not give them my unconditional time. It truly isn’t right to take advantage of someone you say is a great friend but leave them hanging when you make plans with your significant other. All of a sudden they are unconditional in your life, so why condition everyone else?..
oh for your own fulfillment of pleasures and desires. Sweet.
I couldn’t relate and frankly never will. Because as much as you will tell me “it will all change for you when you have a boyfriend, then you’ll understand”, I know I won’t be conditional to my solid friends and family so I never will be that way to them. It is called loyalty, goes hand-in-hand with the Golden Rule. It exists in nearly every friendship, relationship, etc. And if it isn’t there, I’m not.
Like I’ve said before, all in or all out.. black or white.. there is no gray area.
In conclusion, over the past week I have felt more love and great laughter from the strangers I sat next to on my rough flights to and from home home than some of the people I’ve mentioned above. I will safely and appropiately talk to strangers, because that is how most of the realest friends I still have started as. Strangers.
Here is to a life I guess many people can’t understand, the ones I have loved and lost, and the ones who’ve stayed. Thank you for choosing me.
I’m super stoked for my adventures to come this summer and to see more of this beautiful world, where I know I am bound to meet some more beautiful souls.